The Office
by the.great.idiot-21
Summary: Don't. Drink. It's as simple as that. Well sort of harder, but just don't start....Liley. M to be safe.


**A/N: Ok, now this one is based off of a made up story. Yes I realize how ridiculous that sounds and sure, first thing you think of is that this is the made up story. Well nope, not exactly. Not at all really, just a story I was told. It wasn't * cough* real and uh... * cough* I decided to turn it into a oneshot. (After I got over being upset of course. (you really pushed it T -.-. hope ya had fun). Then I thought clearly into making a joke about this "joke". (Oh and rated M just to be safe.) Anywho, I hope you all enjoy...Lilly's POV...

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**The Office**

"Wow Lil, I'm surprised. I feel just fine after drinking that." Miley said as she finished her flavored drink of whiskey in it.

"Yeah I kind of am too. After all, that bar tender did fill that small glass, practically half way full of whiskey." I sat at a small table with my arms folded, eying Miley suspiciously. Looking for any signs of not being sober. But she was simply holding the glass and shaking the ice around. Then she looked up at me.

"Looks like there's a sip left. You sure you don't want some?" She smiled.

"Uh yeah I'm sure. I'm the designated driver, remember? I told you that like three times."

"Oooh, that's right ya did huh. Well it's like everyone says, it burns a little like fire goin down." Miley giggled as she drank the last little bit, followed by a small shudder.

"And you told me that like three times already too." I sighed.

"K, I think I'm done. One was enough cause it's expensive anyway." She shrugged.

"Yeah and you sure drank that faster than you probably should have, but if you feel fine like you said, then I guess that's not a bad sign." I simply stated, not thinking things all the way through obviously.

"Mhmmm...let's go then." Miley said.

Then we both stood up from the small table and left the little bar called, The Irish Pub. Then as we were walking to the car, we had to cross the street at a light. But another bar, on the very corner of all the buildings and right next to The Irish Pub, also right next to where we were standing, it caught Miley's attention.

"Hey Lilly, have you ever been in there?"

"The Office? Hell no!" I said as we watched a couple guys walk out. By their looks, aging seemed to be from 20's to 50's. Now that was just gross and I even shuddered at the thought.

"Is it just for guys or something? And what is up with a name like that for a bar anyway?" Miley asked.

"I told you awhile ago remember? If a guy feels like going to a bar or something, then this way they can tell their wife or girlfriend. The guys just says that they're going to "The Office" and the girls still don't have a clue. Yeah I think it's pretty disgusting, but that's what happens." I finished as we saw a few girls walk out too.

"There's girls in there too? Hmm... so it's not just for guys is it?"

"Well no I don't think so, but it's pretty gay by the looks of it and probably something of a strip club too." I answered, wondering what she was so curious for.

"Huh, I've always wondered about those." Miley said, completely catching me off guard.

"What?! Miles, that's what you said about the burning whiskey, which I think is beginning to take its effect on you now. So it's time to go." I said and pulled her arm towards the clear road, but she resisted. Miley wouldn't move and just looked at the door to the bar.

"You know Lil, neither of us have been in there and there's a first for everything right?" She smiled at me.

"Oh come on Miles, do ya have to do everything you want and live it all up on your 21'st birthday?"

"Well why not? Wouldn't you?" She laughed, opening the door to The Office. My eye's widened now and I ran in after her. Once I was in there, I was even more scared of the place.

The first thing that happened to me, was a guy just came up to check my I.D. Miley was already sitting on a chair next to a half drunk looking dude. She sure must have got in quick. I knew she didn't have any cash on her, so there was no way she'd get a lap dancer, or a stripper even if she wanted one, thank goodness. But I thought too soon.

I saw a small exchange of conversation between her and the guy still next to her. As a male stripper walked up to Miley, she said she didn't have any cash. So then another exchange was made, which was money. Even though I was still standing by the door, I could still hear what they were all saying. As they weren't to far away from the doorway and the music wasn't up as loud as the last bar. Actually frozen was a better choice of words, now that I think about it. Because I couldn't believe what Miley was about to do with the lap dancer that just walked up to her.

Sadly, the other guy gave her two 5 dollar bills. So she had to give the stripper the money twice. First of all, the guy was just wearing a thong. Damn it Miley! Start thinking! But this was only the beginning. She didn't hand him the first five dollar bill, instead she shoved it down the front of his thong. Now I thought that was gross enough and was about to walk in all the way and stop her. Although before I did, she shouted 'Take it all off!' With a smile on her face, obviously having a blast, or so she thought.

That was really unlike her to go after a guy like this though. She always seemed bisexual to me. Or bi curious or whatever. She didn't know that I noticed, but I did all the time and a lap dancer like this, was not like her. Suddenly she got up and started dancing with the guy in the thong. Personally I don't know how that guy got a job there, cause the guy wasn't cute at all.

Then Miley started to feel him up as she started to grind him. Right after that, he did the same. Then she shoved the other 5 dollar bill down his front. I know I should have intervened several moments ago, but I was too shocked and frozen at the place where I was standing.

Although when her hand began moving down and way south, slowly all the way to his crotch, I suddenly broke out of my shocked stance and pulled her away when she was just an inch away from grabbing him. I killed several cheers in the room, from the people that had been watching. I received a few boo's instead. But I didn't care who was mad at me right now. I just cared about pulling my best friend out of that horrible club.

Once we were out and walking on the sidewalk, just a short distance from the car I was quiet, simply cause I didn't know what to say at the moment about what just happened. And Miley was walking surprisingly straight. Then in just short of a minute, we got to the parking garage and got in my car. Like usual, I turned up my music and we both started singing and rocking out to it.

Some moments I wondered if Miley knew what she did several minutes ago. I decided that it would be best for us to stay at my place that night. Then once we were inside, up the stairs and in my room, I got online to video chat with Oliver. He was in another state visiting family for Thanksgiving weekend. He wasn't at his computer, so I texted him and waited a few minutes. In the meantime I looked over at Miley to see what she was doing. She was sitting on my bed and looking blankly at my computer screen, waiting for Oliver as well.

"You ok Miles?" I wondered.

"Yeah, I just think it's weird that I haven't done anything crazy or acted out or whatever. I mean with the amount the bar tender put in that lil cup, you'd think at least something would kick in by now."

"Oh my god. You're not serious are you?" I slightly panicked.

"What do you mean? Oh no way, did I say something I forgot?" Miley asked, wide eyed and horrified.

"Uh no, nothing to _me _that you normally wouldn't. Shit Miles, ok what do you remember after we left The Irish Pub?"

"Well, walking out of the place, across the street, then down a small sidewalk to the lot, then inside the car. Why?" She wondered slowly.

"Fuck! Are you serious? You don't remember anything?" I asked, burring my face in my hands.

"I just told you. Why? Am I supposed to remember something else? Oh god no, what'd I do?" Miley buried her face in her hands now too.

"Oh shit, I didn't think I'd have to tell you. I thought you already knew. Ok, well you..." I froze.

"Lillian! What did I do?!" Miley practically yelled. Good thing my mom was out later tonight. Miley stood up and walked toward me. "I'm your best friend Lilly, so you sure as hell better tell me what happened!"

Now I stood up from my chair and faced her. "Ok, ok I will..." I sighed deeply and then started out, from right when we walked out of the first bar. Then what we talked about at the second bar. Then what she did when she went inside. Miley's face became more and more red from embarrassment, as I went on with each thing she did. She was pretty upset when she heard the part about the money and immideatley ran to the bathroom and washed her hands, then ran back to hear the rest. Then she was even more embarrassed that she was about to grab a guy right on his crotch.

"Oh my god! Ok now that is just wrong for a guy to wear. They were designed for women. It's way too much of a temptation for people who are dru..." Miley smiled guiltily as I folded my arms. "...drunk, haha." She tried chuckling sarcastically. "Sorry?" She smiled, putting her arms up in surrender.

"Oh it's ok, don't worry. But I'm not going back to that place again. And don't apologize to me, you're gonna be the one to pay for it later."

Miley lowered her head. "Yeah that's true. Well I just wanted to try it ya know and it was good. But it really is true huh? You forget."

"Oh yeah, definitely true, as I was a very entertained witness to, tonight." I smirked and raised an eyebrow. Miley gave me a small glare. "And that much alcohol kills brain cells too. That's probably why-"

"I forgot so much. I get it now. Wow I didn't realize it was that bad. I mean I've heard people can get hooked on a lot of things, but I didn't think it would happen after one small drink." Miley said.

"Well it did, didn't it? So what are you going to do now?" I asked.

"Not drink again." Miley lowered her head.

"Good job!" I gave her a thumbs up. "Now I think you'd better get some rest. Come on and lay down." I said and put my hand on her shoulder, to help her to my bed. But she didn't move, instead she took my hand off her shoulder and put it gently in her hand.

"No it's ok, I don't feel tired at all. In fact I just remembered hearing that people usually say what's on their mind don't they?" I simply nodded yes. "Well even though I'm sober now, mind if I say something?"

"Oh come on Miles, that's what all the drunk people say when they think they feel sober. So they just say they're sober."

"I mean it Lil. We were in that second club for like five or ten minutes and I pretty much partied it all off. And I can even walk a straight line for you." Miley practically begged.

"Alright, alright go ahead. What do you wanna say?"

But Miley didn't say anything. She just took a bigger step towards me and met my lips in a soft kiss. Then after just a few seconds, it deepened and heated up. Then Miley broke the kiss from lack of air. "I-I've wanted to do that for a long time now and boy did it feel right. Man Lil, trust me, I'd never do something like that with a guy. Well I almost did, but I was drunk. Anyway, I've been more into girls lately. Sound sober enough?" Miley chuckled and so did I.

"Yeah, that's good enough for me. Cause I've been feeling the same way about you too." I admitted.

"Oh yeah! And it's a happily ever after." We heard a voice next to us. Oliver was mocking a girly tone with his voice. We had kissed right in front of my laptop web cam and hadn't even noticed.

"Holy shit, Oliver! How long have you been there?" I asked.

"Pfst, the beginning of the story I think. Why do you think I've got chips and soda here?" He smirked. Then put on a look of wonder. "Ok, if there's chicks in there too, maybe I should go to The Office sometime."

Miley and I looked at each other, then Miley grabbed a pillow from my bed and tossed it at my laptop. It knocked it over, as well as Oliver. "Hey!" He whined.

Now that he had a good view of the ceiling, I had a front row view of Miley's sparkling eye's. As the sunlight came in, they looked like diamonds. And as though we were reading each others thought's we both leaned in and met each others lips at the same time.

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**A/N: So what am I basically saying? Don't. Drink. Nothing like this happened to me. But after several hours of talking to my friends. My friend, so graciously told me, that stuff like this has happened and that you don't know what you're doing at all and then completely forget about it. So for your own sake, just don't do it. Don't drink. Oh and credit goes to **_Truscott_**. She's more creative then she realizes. Please review...**


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